Sport

Here we shall have a collection of observations on sports, not limited to the mainstream or the endurance.  Honestly, made-up and ridiculous sports always provide good fodder.  We plan not to discriminate, skewering all topics in the world of sports.

Just reminding everyone how much of an idiot Aaron Rodgers is

Also seeing if twitter embeds work.

Drugs are Back!

Great week for drugs in sports.  Tyson Gay and Asafa Powell test positive,1 MLB gets ready drop bombs on A-Rod and Ryan Braun over Biogenesis,2 the Home Run Derby showcases some artificial muscle3 the Tour de France drags on,4 and Coach Kidd plead guilty to a 2012 DUI5

And you thought Bud Selig and Roger Goodell6 had rid the sports world of drugs.  No chance.  Athletes these days these days are juicing like it’s the 90s.7 Doesn’t even have to be steroids or classic PEDs like amphetamines and HGH.  Athletes are using all types of physical and mental stimulants, including Adderall.8 Even if you’re not blatantly using illegal substances, you’ve got to be testing the limits.  Gay said he was let down by a friend who told him his drug was legal,9 while Olympic 10k gold and silver medalists Mo Farrah and Galen Rupp apparently brought a goddamn Walgreens to London with them.  It’s just the reality; the winners are gonna be pushing the envelope, you want to be on top, you’ve got to be willing to get a little dirty.

Bottom line, if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying10

  1. Along with a few other Jamaican sprinters who people don’t actually care about. Actually, I guess people don’t really care bout track in general. Next time I won’t lead a story with track athletes.
  2. Since when can you cut a plea deal over a drug suspension?
  3. Kidding, maybe.
  4. Definitely not kidding
  5. Alcohol’s a drug right?
  6. Gary Bettman actively doesn’t do his job.
  7. Or at least the good ones are
  8. That’s right, the same drug that quadruples in price during finals week gets NFL players through their week.
  9. Had to link to BBC because the US could give a fugg less about what happens to track athletes.
  10. Classic Mark Grace quote, happened to find a bunch of other good ones here.

Tim Lincecum Throws Most Poorly Timed No Hitter in MLB History

Gotta feel for the guy.  Gets a questionable haircut, goes 4-9, basically falls off the face of the earth, and then when he decides to make a big statement by throwing a 13 strikeout no hitter, he does it at one in the morning (east coast time, which is most important for the news cycle/twitterverse), right as George Zimmerman is being found not guilty and that Glee kid is (probably) OD’ing in a hotel room in Vancouver.1 Everyone is woke up this morning, checking their Facebooks 2 and having no idea that The Freak is back, unless they have friends who are die-hard Giants fans.  Timmy needs a new publicist immediately, someone to advise him to save his no-hitters for the east coast and not waste a good one during Zimmerman’s jury deliberations.  Obviously Glee kid’s death was unpredictable3 so we’ll chalk that one up to bad luck, but the Zimmerman’s trial is basically the only thing that’s been on msnbc and CNN for the past two weeks4.

  1. Easily the best part of that video I just linked to is that Jon Miller, formerly of ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball, was calling the game.  Hands down one of the best announcers of all time, second only to Harry Kalas.  Had no idea he was the Giants announcer.  I also had no idea that NBC broadcasted baseball, I legitimately can’t ever remember any time I’ve watched a baseball game on NBC.  They probably still do a better job than TBS.
  2. Because obviously this is everyone’s main news source
  3. Then again, maybe not
  4. No chance in hell Lincecum watches Fox News