“Glee” Star Found Dead, Time to Wildly Speculate

I never really watched Glee,1 even though I’m partial to choreographed pop covers, the occasional Fox programming, and Jane Lynch.2  It’s probably because I’ve got a backlog of TV shows to watch longer than the line at Georgetown Cupcake3 and I try to avoid anything my parents like,4 with the exception of Top Gun.

Anyway, when I heard late last night that star of the show Cory Monteith was found dead in a Vancouver hotel room, I obviously figured it was a drug overdose.  Dude’s been in and out of rehab and has been very public about his problems, so this seems like a no brainer for those looking to jump to conclusions.

But I’ve got a serious5 rebuttal for that explanation.  They’re all saying this guy was 31, yet he was playing a high schooler just a few years ago.  He still looks 25, maybe, but he definitely doesn’t look 31.  And yeah I know that Hollywood regularly uses actors in their mid 20s to play high schoolers, but this guy is making Andy Milonakis look old.6  Bottom line: There’s no way this dude was on a ton of drugs.  No chance a thirty-year old drug addict could play a teenager.  Drug addicts look like this.7  Not like this.  For all we know those trips to rehab could have been publicity stunts like when Donny Osmond almost faked a drug arrest.

I’m not going to sit here and say that foul play was involved here, but then again I’m absolutely going to say foul play was involved.

UPDATE: My bad, Monteith died of a heroin and alcohol overdose.  Can’t be right about everything, I guess.

  1. Is it stylized “Glee!”? how do you type an “L” made out of a finger and a thumb? Are we off topic already?
  2. Did you know she was on “The West Wing?” Here’s proof
  3. I just started House of Cards this week.  How is that possible?
  4. My parents are still watching “Smash”
  5. Not actually serious
  6. BTW, if you’re not following Andy Milonakis on Vine, you’re making a mistake.  The Three Loco crew are some of the best in the game.
  7. Or this. Or definitely this.

104 thoughts on ““Glee” Star Found Dead, Time to Wildly Speculate

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